Saturday Night Fever
by Red Witch
Summary: Bored and dateless, the Brotherhood try to survive another weekend.


**Saturday Night Fever**

"I can't believe it is Saturday night again and here I am stuck with you guys!" Lance complained aloud. He shoved Todd out of his spot on the couch. Todd gave him an annoyed look.

"Hey! It's not like we personally asked you to drop your busy schedule to spend time with us or anything y'know," the little mutant huffed. 

"Yeah, what a drag. I can't believe there aren't any parties this weekend," Pietro shoved Todd off the couch. "Anybody know how Matthews got grounded?" 

"Ahh, probably broke curfew or somethin'" Todd shrugged, moving down further on the couch. "Well it ain't like he's the only senior y'know. Don't anyone else have anything going on?"

"Nope. It's all quiet. Party central is closed," Pietro shook his head.

"Yeah it would have been nice to go to a party tonight," Todd sighed.

"What would you know about going to parties Tolensky?" Lance laughed. "You never get invited. The only time you get in is if you crash with one of us!"

"Yeah, what would you do anyway at a party? It's not like you'd ever dance with a girl or anything. The only thing you ever got at a party was spare change from people's coats!" Pietro joined in. 

"Yeah well you two ain't exactly babe magnets yourselves!" Todd's face turned red. "In fact, I haven't seen either of you guys get a date! I may not look as good as you two, but when it comes to chicks, you two are just as big losers as I am! Wait a minute…"

He didn't get to finish his thought, as Pietro shoved Todd off the couch. He got up with an angry look, stuck out his tongue and moved to a nearby chair.

Pietro gave a huge sigh. "Man I'm bored. I'm bored, bored, bored, bored, bored! I am bored with a capital B!"

Lance groaned, "Okay! Okay! We get the picture! So what do you want to do? The computer's down and there's nothing good on TV."

"What about video games?" asked Todd lying upside down on a nearby chair, his feet dangling over its back.

"We played 'em all a twenty seven thousand times!" Lance said. 

"Well why don't we go to the video store and get some stuff?" Todd asked.

"It's too late to get anything good," Pietro exhaled in annoyance. "Besides, only total losers try to go out and get anything at this hour. Hey, that reminds me, has anyone seen Freddy?" 

"I'm home!" the back door slammed. They looked up to see Fred carrying in several drink containers. "Slushies for everyone!"

"Alright!"

"Cool!"

"What flavors you got?"

"Lets see, Raspberry Red Rock for Lance, Lemon-Lime for Toad, Blueberry Blur for Pietro, and Mango Mambo for me!"

"Yeah my fave!" Todd jumped up, grabbed his slushie and bounded back to his seat. "Thanks Fred!"

Pietro took a huge slurp. "AGGGHHHHH! Brain Freeze! Agk!" 

Fred shook his head as Pietro jumped around in agony. "Amateur."

"He always does that," Todd snickered.

"Yeah, but you gotta admit, it's fun to watch!" Lance laughed.

Pietro shook it off. "Okay. I'm okay now."

"Slow sips Pietro," Fred told him. "You must learn to take slushies slow. Savor them. Like a fine wine. Allow the ice to melt over your tongue to take in the flavor."

"Hey, I'm Quicksilver! I never do anything slow! AGGGHHKKKK!" He took another gulp and then proceeded to dance around some more.

"I wouldn't say that," Todd shook his head.

"He'll never learn," sighed Fred. "So what are we doin'?"

"Hey we got videos here, let's play one of them!" Todd piped up.

"Worth a shot," Lance agreed. "Okay Toad, take a look."

Todd put down his slushie and hopped over to a basket next to the television. In it was a very disorganized collection of tapes. "Let's see what we've got," Todd sorted through them. "Ferris Bueller?"

"Seen it a gazillion times," said Lance. "What else?"

"Hmm…Friday the 13th numbers one through 5, The Waterboy, Billy Madison, South Park…"

"All fine choices," Pietro nodded. "But like Lance said, we need something we haven't seen a million times before. What else is there?"

"Well, we've got Scarface and The Godfather."

"Man, I wish Mystique wouldn't keep pushing these educational videos on us!" Pietro groaned. "Isn't there anything good?"

"What do you think this is? Blockbuster? Hey here's something at the bottom. What the…? The Little Mermaid? Who put this in here?"

They all looked at Fred. "I like the movie," He stared at them flexing his muscles. "Got a problem with that?"

"Nope."

"Uh, uh. Fine movie."

"Uh, yeah. I like chicks with flippers, yo."

"Forget this!" Lance snapped. "Let's do something else!"

"How 'bout prank phone calls?" Todd suggested. "Bug the X-jerks a bit."

"Nah, we did that last night," sighed Lance. "As much fun that is, it gets a bit dull if you do it night after night. Besides, the last time we did that that Wolverine guy answered and I really believe he would carry out his threat to shish kabob us!"

"How 'bout another board game?" Todd said.

"NO!" Fred shouted. "You guys cheat. I never win. Well, except at my favorite game. Maybe…"

"Fred we are not, repeat, NOT playing Candyland!" Lance stated.

"It was just a suggestion."

"Yeah, we don't hear you comin' up with anything!" Todd said.

"Yeah oh fearless leader," Pietro mocked. "So what are we going to do?"

"Well I know what we are not doing. We are not doing Sock Puppet Theater again!" said Lance. 

"Not even the X-rated version?" asked Todd.

"Especially not the X-rated version!"

"Aw man!"

"You're no fun anymore," Pietro stuck his tongue out.

"What about going to a nightclub?" Lance asked.

"Hello? I'm underage! I can't get in!" Todd whined.

"Like I said, how about going to a nightclub?"

"Nah," Fred shook his head. "They don't have enough food at those places. Besides, you and I got kicked out the last five times we went."

"Oh yeah. Sheesh. Cause a couple of fights and set one little fire and everybody gets all bent out of shape!"

"Karoke!" Pietro called out. He raced upstairs and back with his usual flair. When he returned he was dressed in an outfit reminiscent of John Travolta in the seventies. "Get down! Yeah!"

"NO!"

Pietro made a face and changed his clothes again. "Fine," he grumbled.

"Rollerball?" Fred suggested.

"Not after last time," Lance shuddered. "Remember what Mystique did when she caught us?" 

"I can't. It was too traumatic. My mind blocked it out," said Fred. "Hey, let's make smores!"

"What are we the Brotherhood or the Campfire Girls?' Lance snapped. "Look, I joined this outfit in order to get some action! I mean what's the point of being part of a group of mutants who are preparing to fight humanity if all we do is sit around on our butts?"

"He's gotta point there," Todd nodded.

Lance jumped up on the living room table. "Men! It's time we took action! Time we stand up and say 'We are the Brotherhood!' Well say it!"

"We are the Brotherhood," They all shrugged, looking at each other.

"I can't hear you!"

"We are the Brotherhood!"

"Louder!"

"WE ARE THE BROTHERHOOD!"

"And what do we want?"

"WE WANT SOME ACTION!"

"When do we want it?"

"NOW!"

"And what do we do best?"

"EAT STUFF!" Fred shouted.

"DRIVE MYSTIQUE CRAZY!" Pietro added.

"NO!" Lance shouted. He glared at Todd.

"Uh…We cause trouble?" he suggested.

"YES! What else?"

Todd felt a little more confident. "We break stuff?"

"RIGHT! What else?"

"We mess with those goody-goody X-freaks as much as possible making their lives a living hell!" Todd yelled triumphantly

"BINGO!"

"YEAH! AND THEN WE SMASH THAT FUZZY LITTLE BLUE FREAK FROM HERE TO KINGOME COME! KAPOW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!"

"Uh, Toad…"

"YEAH SMASH! DIE FUZZY DIE!"

"Toad…"

"KILL THE FUZZY SMURF BOY!"

"TOAD! That's a little too far. You got the right idea, but a bit too specific."

"Oops. Sorry. Got a little carried away."

"It's okay," Lance nodded. "Alright men, We're gonna rock this town! Who's with me?" 

"LET'S GO FOR IT! YEAH!" They all shouted at the top of their lungs.

"Right on!"

"Let's go!"

"Charge!"

The Brotherhood raced out of the door in a wild frenzy. All except for Lance, who was still standing on the table. He made a face and waited a few seconds. Then the three other mutants came back in the house. 

"Uh, Lance," Todd asked. "Exactly what are we gonna do?"

"We're gonna…Um…."

"You don't know do you?"

"Oh let's just do what we always do and attack the X-men's mansion!" Pietro piped up.

"Now you're talkin'! Let's rock!" Lance began to lead them outside. 

"YOU HYPERACTIVE MORONS STEP ONE FOOT OUT OF THIS HOUSE AND YOU ARE ALL GROUNDED UNTIL THE NEXT MILLENIUM! YOU HEAR ME?" a loud scream was heard from upstairs. The Brotherhood slowly turned around with pale faces. Mystique stood behind them in a bathrobe. She was not happy.

"Listen up losers! I am not feeling very well. The last thing I want to do is bail your pathetic butts out of another mess! So you are all staying in tonight. And I do not want to be disturbed for any reason! Got it?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Okay, you're the boss."

"No problem."

"We'll be good."

"Good! You may amuse yourselves in any other depraved way you like as long as you don't disturb me! I'm going back to my room and I do not want to come out until tomorrow morning!" she trudged upstairs mumbling under her breath.

The boys stood there for a second. Todd stuck his tongue out at her. The others looked at each other. "So Freddy," Lance finally said, "You were saying something about smores?"

"Oh goody! I'll get the marshmallows!" Fred clapped his hands together.

"I'll get the chocolate!" said Todd.

"I'll get the sock puppets!" said Pietro.

"I gotta get a life," Lance sighed.

****

In case you haven't figured it out by now, the characters are not mine, blah, blah, blah…_Lance comes out._

Lance: Okay, who ate the graham crackers? 

Fred: Oops.


End file.
